Is it love or is it abuse?
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Valentine’s Day is meant to be all about love and celebrating relationships, but can you tell what is healthy and what is not?
If any of these ten examples sound familiar to you, you may be suffering from abuse.
- My partner doesn’t like my family and friends. They complain about how much time I spend with them or how much time I’m on my phone to them.
- I get constant messages from my partner and they get really mad if I don’t reply quickly enough, even if I’m at work.
- My partner tells me what to wear. They will criticise the way I look.
- If I don’t spend all of my free time with my partner they will make me feel really guilty.
- I’m so scared to disagree with my partner because they have such a temper. I just feel like I’m walking on eggshells.
- I’m not allowed to spend any money without asking my partner for permission first. I have to give them all of my wages.
- I have to give my partner all of my passwords to my phone, social media and email so they can check my messages.
- I’m scared to break up with my partner because they say they’ll hurt themselves.
- I have to do things sexually to my partner that I don’t want to.
- My partner is physically violent to me. They threaten to hurt me, or to hurt someone else.
This list isn’t exclusive, and we have more information about what domestic abuse is on our website here: https://www.derbyshire.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/daa/domestic-abuse/what-is-domestic-abuse/
Most importantly, if you feel worried that you may be in an abusive relationship or situation, you are not alone and there is help out there for you.
If you're a victim of domestic abuse, or know someone who is, and there's an emergency that's ongoing or life is in danger, call 999 now. If you're deaf or hard of hearing, use our textphone service 18000 or text us on 999 if you’ve pre-registered with the emergencySMS service.
If there is not an immediate emergency, you can still report this to us:
- By using our new online Report domestic abuse service: https://www.derbyshire.police.uk/ro/report/domestic-abuse/report-domestic-abuse/
- In the safety of your local police station (if you require a translator, we can provide someone initially by phone and later in person)
By calling 101 (if you're deaf or hard of hearing, use our textphone service on 18001 101)