A lost life that leaves a hole in a family’s heart

“It sounds really morbid that you want to hear the last gurgling breaths of your child, but it’s like you want to take ownership, you want to own every last minute of them."

“It’s your child, so no matter how bad it is, you owe it to them to listen to those last moments.”

Losing your child is the unimaginable, it’s every parents worst nightmare and unfortunately for Steph, it became her reality.

Steph’s son Etienne, who preferred to be known as Justin, was only 18 when he lost his life.

Steph and her husband had spent their Saturday like any normal day, and that evening were in bed for the night when in the early hours of Sunday 28 June 2020, they heard a knock at the door.

The knock came from one of Justin’s friends, he was very pale and explained there had been a collision.

Justin’s car had been traveling along the A6 near Dove Holes, a notoriously bendy stretch of road.

Rushing to the scene, Steph explains in the video those first moments and how it changed the course of her life.

Justin was on a stretcher and gasping for his last breaths. He was taken to hospital where it was found he had a catastrophic brain injury which he would not survive.

After taking him off life support, his family stayed with him over the next two hours whilst he passed.

“I don’t like to describe him as a boy racer as it makes him sound less of a victim, but he liked his car.” Steph explains.

Justin had been to a car meetup and was travelling home when the collision occurred. He’d been traveling at around 66mph, which was only a little over the legal limit. However, the road was wet and he had a nail in his tyre.

Justin had taken a corner too quickly and lost control of the car, he’d then tried to stop using his handbrake but couldn’t regain control, the car fell down a ravine to the side of the road.

The car landed on it’s roof onto a wall, with Justin’s head hitting it. Steph continued, “That was the moment that our lives really changed for good.

“I couldn’t cook, I couldn’t dress myself and to be honest, I just wanted to die.

“That lasted for two years, and I got to the point where I really started to beat myself up. I have another child to look after, but you cut yourself off emotionally from everybody.

“I cut myself off from my son, from my husband; I spent the rest of my waking hours thinking about what the best way to join Justin would be.

“Speeding is not worth it; you’ve got dreams and you’ve got aspirations.

“Justin has lost his aspirations, his dreams, he’s lost the opportunity to have children and a wife, a good job.”

Steph is now using her grief to educate others about the need to drive carefully and consider the conditions of the road. Speed limits are there for a reason, they’re not a target speed to maintain at every corner.

It only takes a second for your life, and your families lives to change forever. Don’t take that risk.