Spotting the signs of domestic abuse

Yesterday we saw the conclusion of a truly horrific case where a woman, and three children lost their lives in the most unimaginable set of circumstances in Derbyshire.

While the man responsible will spend the rest of his life behind bars, the families will have live with the aftermath for the rest of their lives.

There has been widespread coverage of the events in court in the media and the families are continuing to come to terms with the events in private.

During the hearing they covered details of relationship in the year leading up to the tragedy, and details emerged of domestic abuse, coercive and controlling behaviour and financial abuse.

Spotting the signs of abuse isn’t always easy. If you are suffering abuse, it can be hard to accept that the person you love might in fact be controlling you.

Some key signs to look out for include:

• Making unreasonable demands or to do things you don’t want to, often followed up by threats, pressure, or even physical restraint if you don’t agree.
• Name calling or bullying. Belittling you in front of your friends or making you feel worthless.
• Controlling what you do with your time, isolating you from friends or family, stalking your movements, making unwanted contact.
• Monitoring your spending, giving you an ‘allowance’ to live off, taking your money.
• Controlling your phone or other devices, changing your passwords so they can access them or stopping you from using them.
• Destroying or damaging your belongings or home.

People suffering abuse don’t always consider themselves as a victim, and it may not be immediately obvious what they are going through. It might be they need some help to take that first step or recognise that their loved one’s behaviour is not normal or acceptable.

There is help and support available if you are experiencing issues like these or if you have concerns about someone you know.

You can contact us if you need support or advice from the police and it's not an emergency through the following channels:

• Facebook – send us a private message to our Facebook page
• Twitter – direct message our contact centre via @DerPolContact
• Website – We have several crime reporting tools on our website or use our online contact form
• Phone – call us on 101

All reports will be taken seriously, and we are committed to listening to victims and their feedback to provide the very best service to victims of domestic abuse.

In an emergency, or where there is an immediate risk to life, call 999.

If you are not ready to speak to the police, then there are a number of support services in Derbyshire which can offer help.

Derbyshire Domestic Abuse Helpline
Provides a range of support services for men, women or children affected by domestic abuse.
Call 0800 0198 668 (any time). If you're deaf or hard of hearing, use our textphone service 07534 617252.

Derbyshire County Council domestic abuse support
Help for children, young people and families who are affected by domestic abuse or violence, including refuge accommodation.

SV2 
Support for children, young people and adults who are affected by sexual violence. We support all genders from any age and offer counselling to both adults and children.

LGBT+ Derbyshire 
Support for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans plus community.

CORE
A hub of victim service information, which provides easily accessible information, advice and links to victim services for all victims of crime.

Derbyshire Recovery Partnership is an integrated drug and alcohol service for adults in Derbyshire and offers a service which works with all levels of drug and alcohol misuse, as well as supporting people affected by another person's drug use such as family, friends and carers. You can refer yourself into the service by calling: 01246 206514 or 0845 308 40 10.