Am I being controlled?

What is controlling behaviour? 

Controlling behaviour is a way for someone in a relationship to have power over the other person. 

It might include your partner stopping you from seeing friends and family, controlling your money, deciding what you wear or who you see, or keeping track of you. 

Controlling and coercive behaviour is a form of domestic abuse, and it is a crime.  

How do I know if I’m being controlled? 

It can be really hard to tell, because the control can happen very gradually. Some red flags to look out for are: 

• You’re constantly told you’re in the wrong or made to feel bad. 
• They want your account passwords and to see your messages. 
• They control your daily activities – like what you wear, where you go, what you eat, or when you sleep. 
• They don’t like you spending time with other people 
• Needing a say in your decisions – even if it’s about your work or school. 
• Taking charge of the money and how you spend it. 
• Using threats or pressuring you into things you’re not happy with 

If this is happening to you, you’re not alone and there is help available. 

What can I do? 

There is lots of help available if you’re being controlled, whether you’re ready to report it to the police or not.

Find out more here about your next steps.